The Minstrels of Mayhem
Ty Billings, Craig Merlin Broers ©1993

Oh there once was a man
who was looking for a wife
and he knew what he had in mind:
a pretty little thing
that would love him all his life.
He knew not what he would find.

So he went to an inn
and they kindly let him in
at the sign of the Lion’s Den.
A girl he would see;
she was probably a three
on a scale from one to ten.

So he ordered him a beer;
but his vision still was clear
so he ordered up one pint more.
When it past his lips
he was staring at her hips,
and decided she was probably a four.

Well, when that pint was through
he decided for to woo
and near to her he came.
And since she was alive
she was probably a five,
so he asked her for her name.

Well, she looked him in the eye
but she gave him no reply
and they brought him a glass of wine.
He was really in a fix —
she was looking like a six —
and he said, "Will you be mine?"

After drink eleven
she was looking like a seven.
In fact, she was really great.
After one more round,
surprisingly he found
he was sitting with an eight.

When he asked her to dine
he was sure she was a nine
so he reached for his ring, and then
he drank another ale,
thought his love would never fail,
and he praised her as a ten.

So, now he has a wife
who will love him all his life
and a long life it will be.
When the ale had cleared his head
he wished that he was dead
cause he married a minus three.